Editorial Reflections Music & Art Short Story Musings Health Culture Women & Society Folk-tale Humour Poetry Prev Issue Next Issue

The notion that economic independence will automatically lead to a woman's empowerment and thereby to her emancipation from all problems is wrong.... This statement of Shabana Azmi at a recently held seminar on Women in Contemporary Indian Society triggered a thought, after all the years of struggle for name and fame there has been a realization that after economic independence, emotional security quietly follows in the list of priorities. Her view, based on personal experience though, is the thought that has been in many minds. Both the factors are as important for the woman as for the man.

Strangely her words took me back to the times of my great grand mother and to the present. In my great grand-mothers times, it seems a girl was at first treated as a liability and a burden in the household. That investing on her education which would not fetch dividends, apparently, was not considered at all. She was trained in housework, obedience almost bordering on servility. They were subjected to mental conditioning, to do and think only the way the elders of the society deemed right. The denial was all in the name of tradition followed by the society. She had no voice leave alone airing them. Even if a bold one did, it was immediately quashed by the male ego. She was groomed to be an ideal house (maid) wife. The expectations from a girl were her submissiveness and culinary prowess. She was expected to be a good nurse and a nanny. As there was no formal basic education, she fell short of the latter. Stuck to the confines of the house, especially the kitchen, her contributions towards children and their initiation to basic education remained a nought.

The next generation was condescendingly, given basic education. The thought behind was not noble but Self-centered. For men living away from their spouse corresponding through letters was a way to flaunt their accomplishments and a return mail from the woman was a morale booster. There must have been love but also a show of prowess of his superiority- for this he needed a literate woman. Self-centered, he wanted to keep his savings and earnings within his family and who could have managed it better than the wife who had some education? A woman with basic education to exalt his super ego but an obedient worker to his parents! The women slogged without a whimper all in the name of emotional, social security. Women who have suffered at the hands of in- laws were only advised to put up with all the atrocities for the sake of security. There are mothers who have silently wept for their daughters but dared not break the custom for fear of society and the burden of providing financial security life long. Ironically, the fathers who were frightened of their daughters being subjected to humiliation after marriage were themselves heaping it on the wife. The women who have suffered at the hands of over bearing in-laws only took retribution in their daughters-in-law with a vengeance instead of mending the ills. Customs and traditions came in as a convenient excuse for them. It is indeed sad that in the name of tradition there are fanatics who go to the extent of doing away with their own offspring because they jumped the fence.

To have a girl with basic education in the household helped bringing up children in a better way. She could help the children in their homework for which the man had no time or the patience. With the man concentrating only on the work front she took over simple tasks of attending school meetings banks, paying bills and so on. The knowledge gained was to be diverted in the up bringing of children and better house management. But then educational standards improved and the work culture thrived with social interactivity, the need to educate her to graduation level arose. With that level of education she could socialize, help husband earn a better name in his profession and promotion in the organization. With graduation and better house management she had time, added to this the rise in consumerism and standard of living she was expected to contribute financially. She was allowed to take up a job. This was considered as an ostentatious indulgence on the male's part. She could supplement the family income and it was welcomed as it increased the comfort levels. Since she could extend help in any field, competition became stiff. This naturally called for a revaluation of the situation. The need of the hour was a career-oriented education. The myth that women can only be homemakers is being reviewed. In fact, women are now realizing their potential capabilities and there is a change in their perspectives.

Now the girl is well qualified to pursue her own career. The metamorphosis that has taken place in her status has given a new confidence. The confidence to be on her own with her income has thrown new light to relationships. She is no longer conditioned to blindly follow the set codes and feel solely dependent on the man. The string that is attached to most of the social problems is the economic dependence factor. This is truly so especially in the middle class. All along it has been the economic dependence that has shackled her to relationships where there has been no growth or recognition of her capabilities.

Evolution has been a slow and steady process. So is the case with the emancipation of women. Changes do not take place overnight and there has been a sea change from the days of our grannies to the present and the empowerment of financial independence has definitely given her the option to lead a respectful life.

So, in the present times only the priorities have changed. Emotional and a social security, which was given utmost importance, has been taken over by economic security. Economic independence by itself is not the solution and emotional security alone means mortgaging ones independence and succumbing to the breadwinner's whims. Emotional security precedes financial security and as long as their importance is judiciously placed, life can be bed of roses. After all who would not like to have a home where there is mutual respect and love.

Saheli is an all-volunteer non-profit support and advocacy organization for Asian families in Austin, Texas. Saheli's mission is to help victims and survivors of domestic violence to heal, and empower them to make choices for a life free of abuse. We spread awareness of various forms of oppression against women and children through community outreach and education. We form a bridge between the Asian community and local services to cross the culture gap. Saheli's vision is to work toward preventing abuse in family relationships, to break the cycle of violence and pursue a cycle of peace. For more information about Saheli, visit www.main.org/saheli
To contact us call (512) 703-8745
or send e-mail to: saheli@usa.net

Opinions expressed in this column are those of the authors alone.

Start a discussion on this article