Meenakshi Jha comments : It is so true that it takes tons of courage to break oneself free from an abusive relationship or amend it into a peaceful and non-abusive one given the magnitude of resistance a woman has to encounter in our culture. And I was truly moved and touched to note that the writer gathered courage as late as when she reached the age of 51. Better late than never !!! It is never too late to make a fresh and positive start to one's life. A very inspiring story. My heartfelt thanks to Shubh for sharing her story with us.
Meenakshi
Raj Shekar comments : When I read stories like these whether, this biographical well written account of Shub's..that tucks away at ones sensibility..or Sunanda's fictional narratives....in similar vein, with so non-fictional the content...Somehow I feel a sense of pride..At this 'assertion'..belated though it be in specific cases.. of women, as a trend, not taking a classical feminist route with equally kneejerk reactive macho' responses..but one of just changes, wrought through quiet detrmination and deep confidence in their choices.
One thing I wish were 'lesser' though is the bittersweet after-taste that seems to prevade, usually on both sides.. post this transition. I feel it is within our humanity all parties concerned, to rise above what happened..
sunanda vashisht comments : Dear Shubh First of all I must congratulate you for finally taking the stand and doing what you should have done years back. as meenakshi said 'better late than never'. I read your account with so much sorrow. it is indeed so ironical that sometimes our parents who are so well educated and come across as liberal minded can also close doors on their daughters who are suffering from humiliation and torture every day. I try to rationalise that by saying that their mindsets are steeped in centuries of patriarchal system that it is really very difficult even for the mothers to be on the side of their daughter in such a situation. But along with sorrow your account also filled me with pride that there are women who won't take this lying down. sooner or later they realize that they have a life of their own. i have said this earlier on the forum too that neglecting oneself is the biggest mistake any woman can commit. only when you respect yourself will others respect you. love begins from loving yourself. i am really happy that finally you did take the step of separating from your abusive husband. of course despite all that, he will have more sympathies from our society than you would, because after all he has a privilege of being a man in this male-dominated world. this reminds me of a poem that i had read a long time ago. i will just quote a few lines here. the title of the poem is I, Draupdi.
THE SWAYAMVARA WAS MINE, THE DECISION MY FATHER'S MY LIFE WAS PLEDGED TO A BOW AND ARROW MY LIFE AN OFFERING TO THE SHOOTER OF FISH YEARS WENT BY WE STOOD ON OUR JOURNEY'S END TOWARDS SNOWCLAD HIMALAYAS I FELL FIRST NO PANDAVA STRTCHED HIS HAND IT WAS THEN I REALISED THAT HEAVEN TOO MUST BE ONLY FOR MEN.
sunanda
Anna Marie Marriott comments : Dear Shubh: You serve as an example as to what is possible through perseverance. I can relate to much of your story because although American i married my Latin American husband and we made out lives in his country. Once I stepped foot in his land, he became a stranger, a Macho man and I lost my identity. I have begun to recuperate my voice and own identity and am trying to complete my degree in Human services. I came across your story as I was researching info. for a paper on spiritual empowerment and came across your moving story which has inspired me. I recently gave up my job as a study abroad coordinator and had an Indian American student with the same dilemma, her traditional Indian father wants her to marry an Indian man in India so she will take care of him in his old age and she wants to hear none of this but its a cultural issue she still has to deal with and I wonder what the outcome will be. Thanks for sharing ..I am sure you are reaching others immensely with your work. Good Luck! Amari
